Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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