ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
