If i could tip my vagina, i would.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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