so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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