my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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