two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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