matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
