Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Randomize
