that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
