very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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