Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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