i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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