there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
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