Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
