I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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