DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
