Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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