can we get nightvision for the apartment?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
