I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
