I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Randomize
