he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Randomize
