My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
