Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
