Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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