I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
