Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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