R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I looked at my own cervix.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
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