I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
