some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
