so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Green mimosas i think yes
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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