PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Randomize
