so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
