The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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