Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
ttyl tear gas
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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