Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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