Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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