Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
