last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize