Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
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