you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize