She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
