Kiss
Puke
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
