I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
