What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
We just shotgunned beers for America
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
