Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize