there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize