I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
