He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
