Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
This baby is an asshole
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Randomize
