Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
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