i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
