My nipple is on Facebook.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
