just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Randomize
