Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
