I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize
