Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
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