So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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