i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
My legs feel like baby dolphins
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
