I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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