yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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