my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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