real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize