I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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