did you get engaged???
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
