I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
