i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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