it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize