i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
