Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
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