I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
