I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
