I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
