So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
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