CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
you inspire me to be a worse person
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Randomize
