i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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