you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
