Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
